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3 Years Later

by The Freedmen's Bureau

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1.
THAT’S NO MOON…IT’S A SPACE STATION: Where have my roots gone? They grow where they don’t know while insufficiently pondering the meaning of this line. There’s life, death, and that place somewhere in between, but these roots are not my home, and I’ve let them grow all wrong.
 And now I can’t feel the vine. I can’t! The cosmos shine like they’ve always been there, and we live as if we’ve always been this proud, as if humbleness never was.
 (Maybe I’ll be beautiful one day, but for now I’ll just stay out of the way.) The gift of the heavens was something else, it was not me. If love doesn’t last forever, then this is all meaningless. Oh God, it’s all in vain! … (silence) … I am king folly, and my heart is so heavy, but I’m not ready to walk across this thin ice of life. Juxtapose the new world and the grace we live in! And see how my heart used to long for escape, but I forgot just how I was made. Now it only longs to be renewed… This is in my heart! This is in my chest !He has made everything beautiful in its time! He has set eternity in the human heart, yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end! In all this I said “I’m determined to be wise” but I realize it’s all beyond me.
2.
 THEY’RE ONLY YOUNGLINGS: It’s a journey I brought you on, bare feet and all, and I heard you sing a joyful song. Each step, each breath we take, we were never one, of course we’d separate! The thing is, I couldn’t see past your eyes, so how could you see past mine? I said I couldn’t see past your eyes, how could you see past mine?! The spear was faithful while death was patient! You are good, You are good! I was caught underneath for far too long, was I just an infection growing in Your ribs? I might’ve been pierced in Your side, a burden to remember that fateful day we met. I tried walking alone, but You agree to walk in step beside me. I tried so hard walking alone, but You insisted walking in step right beside me!! The spear was faithful while death was patient! You are good, You are good! Years from then, conceiving new eyes, what should have been spent well teaching these growing lives. Two kids, motherless and naked, so the needle can stay for selfish ambition. But she wasn’t thinking… Was she? And for some reason I’m the one who can’t see? I said, she wasn’t thinking was she?! And for some reason I’m the one who can’t see?! Though flashing lights were beautiful, this loss for their mother was indisputable. What would wash her white as snow? What flame would burn bright that portfolio? She was so broken and torn, but she was held with love, on that beautiful day, when Jesus died at the bluff! The spear was faithful while death was patient! You are good, You are good! This is where your journey ends! It all leads to now! I pronounce you dead my friend! Go and wear the crown!
3.
Blue Harvest 04:40
BLUE HARVEST: Call me what You want! 
Call me what You need! 
Call me Yours! 
Call me free! 
I’m living in this house,
 I never want to leave. 
I felt Your love, God, 
and I never want to leave! Beyond the room there is a table. With chairs, and two white mares. Could it be that from my first cradle I’m looking upon safety? (or am I just so very wrong?) Tear me apart for I know nothing of this and leave me to my lonesome joy. Beside the wine there sits a crown, for the waking of my utmost fixed taking. And we all want godhood to be found, do we not? This is what chains me and what makes me the same, and bare to my faults, I am still right here. Behind my prayer, I am forgiven. And this murky creek turns into the river I seek. What’s the hope beyond repetition? Asked so much I can’t remember where I stand. But I’ll create something beautiful and call it His. I swear I’ll create nothing more than this! I ask only one thing, God, let me live in Your house forever, everyday of my life, just to see how beautiful You are! For You are everything I could ever want and need, and I am nothing at all.
4.
THIS ONE’S GOT A BAD MOTIVATOR: “I was a hired gun sent from across the land. Never knew what I thought, but I knew what I won. Though I was made to be free!” With a fist in the sky where the heavens were glass: “My heart used to know, but now I just bury the past. If I stand in the past’s grave, and if one more soul dies and if one more is saved, does it make any difference? Did God make the universe and just walk away?!” It was a desert, a buried desert in his heart. Doubt was the bullet, and he just kept his mouth shut. Love was the gun, and grace was the trigger! We were all lost, now what does it mean to be found? Is something there behind the clouds? Does it hold my bones? Are You even caring or just distant on some throne? (At this point, running away starts…)
5.
It's a Trap! 05:36
IT’S A TRAP!: You and I, you and I were truly meant to be, I thought I heard you saying you were free. Well I was hoping, were you just talking? Why can’t you talk to me?! (Hopefully,) it’s just something that works itself out… Life gets in the way of living. Temptations and trials knock us down and getting up doesn’t seem worth the effort. Life gets harder and harder, it gets worse before it gets better, and downhill we roll until these eyes close. You do see light though it’s constantly blocked by shadow, a door in the way of a lit room. No time to slow, in motion constantly moving with no way out but one. And we all do escape in the end, where that end lies, we know not. It awaits us, hiding in the dark when we least expect, it takes us away to where we go from here. But there is worth. There is worth that’s worth fighting for, pushing through the constant downward pull. Spiraling into madness that pulls the lids over our eyes hiding the truth. The truth that there is more. More to it than what we’re shown, a world awaiting that no flesh can hold. And it starts here, and is here, it was brought here, but has been fought to be hidden for so long. But we know better. Better than to stay and push it to the back of our minds, fight to bring it to the forefront and into the light so faintly familiar. That place we long for and seek is closer than we think, underneath the feet we walk on and all around, being built by those willing to sacrifice and serve, to follow the One that lived for it and died for it. A kingdom not built by hands, but love. Not made of walls, but of broken people. Led by a King undefeated. Whose ways are His own, undefiled by those who drop His name. And You are here! You are eternal, O’ God. Never ending, never ceasing, consistent and never changing. You are love, the very essence of existence. Necessary and perfect. Never ending and sovereign. Independent of all, yet personal and ever-present. Without hesitation, You sent Your Son. A sacrifice of complete selflessness, reaching out to the undeserving and unworthy. The only One deserving of praise. The only One worthy of praise. No one higher than You. You are set apart and none can fathom Your greatness. You penetrate and destroy any thought barrier You are put in. You have overcome the world that has tried so hard to ignore you and overthrow You. And You still love us all. One day, every hating and doubting, loving and believing tongue will confess Your Holy name, and every resistant and willing knee will bow in Your magnificent presence, where impossibility ceases to exist. When this world ends, You will be. When this life ends, You will be. When time itself ends, You will be. When beliefs, differences, and ideas fall, Your Truth will stand strong, unshakable, unchangeable, undefeatable, never ending, forever and ever. Because You, God, are Holy.  
6.
YOU'LL BE DEAD: You’re not yourself when you’re on pride but closer to that thing inside. What makes you beat, makes you tick, what makes you hate should make you move and what you move for should be for what you love. No, you’re not by yourself when you’re alone. It’s alright to come and die, and it’s okay to cry! It just shows your spirit isn’t dead; it just shows you’re alive. Whatever it is that wets our eyes and makes them rain, move to that cause. (The truth probably won’t be for tailored to me.) It’s alright to come and die. It’s worth a shot to try then fall and fail and stand up, step and fall again! All good journeys have an end, but you’ll never get there if you don’t breathe and begin! Running makes us potential victors and an empty grave means it’s won! Losing is not for those who haven’t lived, losing is a temporary home for everyone. So I’ll keep on singing songs, praying that love’ll ignite the flame in our chests. It’s worth a shot to try then fall and try, try again. It’s okay to live! There’s movement in the air, energy shocking your bones, breaking then rejoicing all over again. Breathe in, feel the grace that makes our lungs inflate. Grasp now; take it by the part closest. May your insides indulge in health, and your mind in adventurous security. We are not all right now perfect, but we’re all now ready. Take heart, hold steady. It’s okay to die!

about

The musical project that is The Freedmen's Bureau began in 2012, and these songs are what came out of three years spent living life together. This mini-album was recorded in July 2015.

credits

released September 19, 2015

Vocals and melodica: Josh Kozycz
Electric guitar, acoustic guitar, and vocals: Israel Cortez
Bass and vocals: Joey Viscarra
Drums, shaker, congas, and rainstick: Ryan Kozycz
Rhodes piano, glockenspiel, and tambourine: Micah Cortez
Electric guitar: Gabriel Perdomo

Recorded, mixed, and mastered by Tim Moore at York Recording

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The Freedmen's Bureau Whittier, California

Making loud noises since May 2012

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